Fog

It was foggy this morning and I had an interesting thought as I drove the kids to school and it set off my anolytical mind- really love analogies...

Fog is strange, some parts are harder to see through than others and sometimes I find that I am at the mercy of the 5 feet ahead rule. Today as I was in the thickest part of a fog, not sure what was very far ahead of me and I had an epiphany of sorts. I wanted to hurry but knew it was best to take an unclear path slowly, simple enough. As I approached the distance, little by little things started to look clearer. I realized that this is where I am in my life right now. I've been struggling through the fog, trying to take it slow, fight the urge to look too far ahead and get frustrated or confused by the slow pace, but now things are starting to look clearer. Things I struggled with but learned some lessons from are making sense finally- I'm seeing the WHY! I suppose the fog is our living by faith (trusting when we cannot see), inching along in our embryonic state as we learn to be bigger, better, and more brave while approaching the unknown. The sun is the WHY, it comes out and burns off the fog and then if we are looking, we will see where we've ended up and why/how we got there. Today, for me, the sun is coming out and I see the road much, much, clearer and I stand in awe. I suppose I am grateful for fog, it makes me appreciate the clarity and honesty of the sun.

Sweet 16 to my Sonshine.

Finally, he got his laptop!

Sweet 16!

Enough pictures mom, really....

Not sure why he was SO determined not to smile on camera, must be a teenager boy thing.

Dear Christian...

You probably have heard this story a million times but I never want you to forget it and someday you will miss my constantly play by play of your birth. You were born on my grandmothers birthday back in 1994, so your Dad and I decided to use her fathers name... Christian. You're middle name is after your dad... Anthony. Somehow, you are turning 16! It's a big milestone. I have been at your side for every birthday and all those parties... the alien one, the army guy one, the cars, the Chuck E Cheese party, it all was joy to me. You have been one of the biggest gifts in my life. This birthday has caused me to look back over the years with a little sadness. It has everything to do with you only being 2 yrs away from 18. I can't look beyond that or it breaks my heart. You have grown into a handsome, strong, incredibly good young man my son, no wonder I was only blessed with one boy- I got the BEST!! I have every confidence in your future. I love you Chi Chi! Mom

Diet tip #1

Got a good diet tip today...

Eat BREAKFAST like a KING (or QUEEN)
Eat LUNCH like a PRINCE (or PRINCESS)
Eat DINNER like a PAUPER

and don't forget to play ball in your tiara!

In other words I need to do a 360 on my meals but it's doable!

Birthday Blocks

I made these little blocks to give the kids at church when they have a birthday since I'm in charge of them a little longer. It's kept me very busy this week. So far I've done 30 with 8 to go. I think I may now be a Modge Podge expert. It's fun stuff! The problem is that my sander is dull and needs a new belt before I do any more. My garage is one big pile of sawdust. LOVE getting my hands dirty but think I love using hubby's power tools most of all. My girls loved them, hope the other kids enjoy them too.

UPDATE as of January 17: I have finally passed the torch to the next willing parent and am no longer in charge of the children. I did hear them singing in church last Sunday and felt a twinge of sadness that the torch was passed but I also NEEDED to do something new and say goodbye to that, as hard as it was.

Answered Prayers

I was very blessed this past weekend. I had prayers answered. I mean COMPLETELY answered, down to the details. I am SO grateful. It makes it very obvious to me that I have a living Savior listening to my prayers everyday. I already knew this but it was such a powerful affirmation. I should never doubt it but sometimes I let stress take over my brain and my heart. I have been feeling so worn out and dried up spiritually lately... my spiritual "well was dry" as they say. Sometimes I doubt that my pleading is even getting past the ceiling and it seems many go unanswered. I should never doubt. Someday I will learn to wait on the Lord.... in His time and in His way answers come, not up to me or my time line. Patience, however, is not something I have in great supply, gotta work on that.

Here we go... 2010!!!

Goodbye 2009... I will NOT miss you!

Hello, New Year! So full of promise.... and repentance. Time to do the dirty work, the sweat equity, recommit to doing better when I've screwed up, and avoiding stepping in any mountainous piles of ca-ca.

This year, I will try to look at everyday as a new beginning.
I will learn from every slip.
I am one of the thousands that is determined to get in shape this year.
I want to eat better and get my kids to want to do the same.
I want to think of others and not be too focused on me that I do not see a need in someone else.
I hope I am able to feel more gratitude and have less of an "attitude".
I will organize this massive pile of clutter I call a home.
I want to be my kids example of courageous, strong, kind, gentle, and balanced.
I want to laugh more and open my eyes to all the precious, irreplaceable moments.
I will try to better all past & present relationships.
I want to do what God would want me to be doing with my time on Earth.
I will simplify.
Mostly, I just want to enjoy the journey.

And then I'd like to retire the letter "I" from my vocabulary. (As seen in the above list, far too overused).

To help me remember there were good moments in the past year I created a little video diary. Enjoy this little recap of 2009, I'm not so good at slide shows yet but here she is...