Wednesday, August 25, 2010

This whole year has flown by! I can't believe it's almost September and so many things have happened. My life has become so complicated. There are so many blessings and quite a few challenges to keep things balanced I suppose. The challenge at the moment is that my elderly inlaws are struggling. They are 90 years old and my father in law has been diagnosed with dementia years back and last week my mother in law had a personality change and was diagnosed with senile dementia with manic disorder. She is falling about every other month just to recover and fall again. The nurse came and spoke to us and suggested a care center. Its so sad. I don't know how u do this. How do u bring that up with them without making them feel like u don't want to be bothered with them, that they aren't loved anymore or useful anymore. It's breaking my heart. I need to read about it and discuss it with professionals I guess. They aren't my birth parents but I love them like my own and I want to do this in a respectful, careful way. I would love to have them move in with us and care for them if there weren't incontinence issues, constant arguing and meanness, and mass chaos when they are around. Somehow I need to raise my 4 kids and they are full time job as it is, and so would be taking them on. They can no longer care for the house they live in. Sad. I am learning way way too much about being 90 and it is losing its appeal to me strangely. Wonder why that is. I just pray that I can make the Lord pleased with our behavior and efforts and that he will sustain us and them as we try to come up with the best solutions.

I have to also get it off my chest some of the other issues that are weighing on me... Lets start kid by kid-
Christian, 16. Is driving, dating, junior in high school, does lighting for the school play which keeps him busy. Has ADD and needs lots of help keeping on task and staying organized.
Corynn,14. My MOST high maintenance child. She has scoliosis and is being treated at a chiropractor. She has constant sinus infections for which the doctors have no explaination. She has stomach issues. She has allergies and is getting shots for that once a week. She needs to be monitored on her cell phone, computer, and piano lessons.
Chloe, 9. She is the one I struggle with most with behavior. She struggles so hard with anxiety, has ADD, is behind in school and needs tutoring. She is completely disorganized and SUPER sensitive. She has lots of quirks but is the most talented little artist I know. She is very kind but needs a lot of encouragement and guidance.
Sadie,4. In preschool. I have to remember to make time for her, the poor girl. She is learning to write her name, letters, and ride her bike. She is an amazing even tempered child for who I am SO grateful.
On top of that...
All blessings, trying to not see anymore challenges until they rear their ugly head and demand to be dealt with. One day at a time. One prayer at a time. One breath at a time. Life is good!


Sarah said...

Keep that positive attitude! And honestly, I know that it is a hard decision to move someone to a care facility but it is sometimes a more selfish decision NOT to do it. A good care facility will have the tools needed to insure the best care. They will have more patience because they are one step emotionally removed. They will create a safe, loving environment. Choosing the RIGHT place is very important but I am certain that, at times, we need to just buck up and admit that we don't have the tools ourselves.
Ultimately the decision comes down to faith. Do we trust the Lord to lead us or do we think we know it all? Faith and trust, and just hold on. The purpose of the lesson often becomes clear once we've made it through.
As for those beautiful children, you clearly love them and that will be more important than all the fluff and details. Just keep loving them, watching out for them, and doing your best. You can do it!

Sarah said...

p.s. sort of a side note. My grandmother suffered from severe alzheimers and my grandpa, bless him, tried to manage her solo for 15 years (+). Nearing the end of her life he finally let family help out more and at one point she stayed in a hospital type facility. She was the love of his life, he was completely dedicated to her. As sweet as their love story is, after she died he told us that he wished he had asked for help much sooner because the burden was so much to carry. There is no shame in getting help.

CK Nethercott aka Mom said...

Thank u Sarah... great advice. I needed to hear that!

Pam said...

Hey this may be crazy but just yesterday Jared was asking our Chiropractor about how his sinuses seem to be stuffed all the time. The chiropractor said that having an allergy to dairy or/and wheat can cause sinus inflammation. He told Jared to try eliminating those things from his diet. Jared was not too happy upon hearing this as he LOVES ice cream. I just read your most current post and how your daughter will be going in for a scope. I hope they are able to find out what is the matter with her.