Friday, February 12, 2010


This one is for you Stay at Home Moms...

One of the things that people say when they find out that I do not work outside the home is, "So what do you do all day?" That kills me. How does one answer that question and still feel worthwhile and accomplished these days? Did you know that devoting your life to raising the children you bring into the world is "old fashioned"? Why is that? Being a birth mother is a totally different story than mothering. Birthing is the easy part- the sprint, raising them into adulthood, now THAT is extreme marathon... the long haul, the hardest job in the world.

Let me just say for the record that I did NOT complete my nursing degree back in my college days. I dropped out when I found out I was pregnant with my first child 2 yrs after Tony and I were married. I do not have that big degree yet,someday I will, but I am NOT stupid and am capable of intellectual thought right along with making some killer playdough monsters. ALL of my priorities changed when I my 6 lb 9 oz little blue bundle was placed in my arms... I wanted every minute I could have with him. I felt that same feeling with the 3 pink bundles that have followed him. Looking back over my life, when people would ask me what I wanted to be someday I would SAY a nurse, but THINK a mother.

My life is not like anyone else's, it's mine, it's unique to me and my circumstances. It would drive YOU crazy perhaps, actually I have no doubt on that, but to me it is my calling. So to you who have asked or are thinking that the life of a stay at home Mom is glamorous, carefree days of soap operas and bon bons... how wrong you are. Lets take a look at mine as an example shall we? My days: I care for 4 children, 2 elderly in-laws, and a handicapped sister in law. I get up at 5:30 am to drive my son to drivers education. I medicate my children with health issues and send them off to school. I have a husband who works out of the home and all day Sadie and I are to remain quiet as to not disturb business calls which is great fun with an active 4 yr old. I have a dog and a cat that need attending to. I have friends and loved ones that I check in with and pray for continuously. I run 6 miles 3 days a week up a mountain. I clean, fix, budget, cook, nurse, launder, garden, and practice the domestic duties daily with a tarnished, crooked tiara on my head. I drive my children to marching band, play practice, activity days, story time, dance class, preschool, and play dates. I check in with my in-laws each day to see if they are in need of help and usually they are, so off either Tony or I go to help. I pull individual kids aside to spend one on one time with each of them as much as I can. I live by medication schedules, children schedules, work schedules, and doctor visits. I attempt to have the occasional date with my husband of 18 yrs and keep our marriage from falling apart. I pay the bills, cut the coupons, and try to keep life organized.

Splurging to me is buying something on clearance- always under $20.00 but preferably under $10. Being able to think of something I want to do and not something everyone else will enjoy. Stealing some time away to read a book that is gathering dust on my end table is a luxury. Watching a cooking show I've had DVR'd for weeks is heaven! Finding a few minutes to keep a blog for my parents who live across the country (why I do this) is something enjoyable to me! I'd love to sew more, craft more, scrapbook beautiful pages for all of my children, but let's be realistic. Somethings just have to give... for now anyway.

I wouldn't trade anything for my life. Not a billboard, not a gold metal, any amount of money, nothing. As busy as my days become I have no doubt that I am irreplaceable. I am molding young minds, old minds, & teaching faith and character. I am married to my best friend that lets me pummel him with problems and never flinches. I screw up and I am forgiven. I am hugged, spit up on, neglected, and yet completely fulfilled and happy to live it all.

So you tell me, does what I do all day warrant the blank look? The lack of a more impressive career? That "what are you contributing to society" connotation? The lack of applause or accolade? All I know is that when I fall in bed at night I am completely exhausted and to me THAT means I have most definitely been accomplished.

1 comment:

Jenn L. said...

Wow, Cinda, beautifully said! Anyone who gives you attitude about raising your children has their own problems - starting, most likely, with jealousy! You and I both had mothers that stayed at home with us, and wasn't it wonderful? I wouldn't trade that time I had with my mom for the world. There are a lot of reasons I haven't had kids, and one of them is because I wouldn't be able to stay at home with them, and I certainly wouldn't want some stranger raising my children.

So, ignore the naysayers. You know that what you are doing is far more important than a 9-5! :)