Thursday, February 4, 2010


I have been doing a LOT of thinking again this week. I'm completely sick of it! I over analyze everything & I get myself very frustrated sometimes. Being introspective caused me, over the years, to build a little wall around myself. I finally have realized that I need to stop thinking small, cocoon size small, and start thinking BIG. To get out of that safe little cocoon a bit more. My little safe space had great benefits for protecting my kids once upon a time but I now realize it has had some undesirable side effects on me over time. I have kind of lost myself in the little details and really want to get back to the big picture. I know who I am and what I stand for, but I guess I've avoided like the plague anything that puts it to the test. Translation: I've lost a big chunk confidence in myself and my abilities.

So I've been going about life getting really good at certain things and yet I've lost a lot of other skills. That was a signal to me that it might be time to start working my way out of the "cocoon" and learn that I can do more with my life than ignore things around me, and reality (past and present), to keep myself hidden away. Perhaps it is time for a little metamorphosis, I do enjoy change. I don't want to wait till my world is shaken off it's safe foundation to appreciate, really appreciate life, and everyone in it. I want to feel the sun on my wings and just share the reality that I do, in fact, have wings and they are unique to me and not like anyone else. I want to use them to make a difference in my home AND in the world around me as well, even if I fly into a window now and then I will have been brave enough to fly... Even if I only manage to accomplish something so small, so insignificant that only God himself will appreciate it.


Sarah said...

That was very lovely. Fly girl, fly!

Jenn L. said...

Well, said! I support you, friend! :)

CK Nethercott aka Mom said...

Thank you ladies!

Dayna Jamison said...

Amen to that Sister! you're amazing Cinda and such a wonderful mother.