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Sunday, August 2, 2009

What knee's are for..

This week has been a bad week for child #3. She is out of control. I lost it a few times with her and that always makes things worse not to mention what a horrible parent I feel that I am after. If I had perfect kids and I was perfect myself, things would not bother me so much but they do since that state of perfection is not reality yet, maybe someday, but who is perfect, really.

Yesterday there was an incredible adventure going on in her room. There was a whole civilization built for her littlest pet shop animals. After about 2 hours she came out and realized that we all had been doing Saturday cleaning- the dreaded chores. She was asked nicely to please go back to her room and clean up so we could vacuum in there. She went nuts. The fit of all fits. She said she was too tired now, the mess was too big, that she couldn't possibly clean it up by herself, she was now wanting a new family, she was running away. It's all typical statements a cranky kid makes.

This time was going to be different I determined. I refused to lose it and I refused to let her get to me. I also refused to let it go. After about an hour of encouragement I turned it over to my husband. He went in there and put on cleaning music and danced around for her to make her (hopefully) stop crying and get to it. She just got up on her bed under the covers. She didn't do it. POWER STRUGGLE.

So I went in a while later and said that she had 5 minutes to get it done and I would clean up the toys that were not the little pet shop mess. I did that small task but she sat there crying like a loony. She kept HOWLING, what she sounds like truthfully. She hits a note on the scale of piercing that is so incredibly painful. Anyway, I kept my cool.

Five minutes later she is in the pantry looking for food. I told her that she was welcomed to have food when her ONE chore of the day was done. More howling ensued. I think the wolves were summoned, or at least she got their attention with all the ruckus. I was getting really close to losing it but I said to myself, she needs to know you mean it and it's really not too much for a seven year old to take care of. So putting my arm around her shoulder I escorted her to her room in silence (the whole time thinking about what I was going to do now).

As we came in her room I stopped, dropped to my knees. She happily flopped along side of me on the ground. I started to pray out loud with my arm around her. She shot me a look like she couldn't believe I was actually praying with her, what is mom up to? She quieted down. I muttered something like..."Please help her to know how much I love her, help her to make good decisions, let her know she is an important part of this family and to not feel sad, help me to be a good mom although I am not perfect, help her to learn how to work hard and help her to be cheerful today."

She was stunned. So was I frankly. I didn't know I was going to do that. She sat there looking at me as I explained that if it wasn't cleaned up by the time I came back with the black garbage bag I was taking the toys away. She didn't do a darn thing. So with her decision made, I cleaned up all the toys, put them into the black bag, and told her because she chose not to even try to clean them up they were gone for at least a week. She started crying about how much she miss them, and not my favorite toys mom... blah blah blah. I explained that decisions have consequences.

They are hidden in my closet now, in the sack, behind my clothes. No more games. She cried in mourning for the toys for a while and then came out and asked for a treat. I reviewed the deal with her and what had happened and how I expected cooperation in the future or she would lose all the toys around here. She said ok, she understood. Hmmmm... we'll see. I don't know if I did any good but I know I turned it over to the Lord and things did get better after that, not perfect, but better. I like better, it sure beats things getting worse.

Now I know why we have knee's. As I raise these four kids, mine are getting pretty worn.

3 comments:

Cathy said...

You will never believe this but...days like this are precious!!! They go by so fast and then they are grown and you miss every minute of their days as little ones!!! It seems endless at the time but before you know it it is over and they are gone!!!

Hold on with both hands and ENJOY!!!

Have a wonderful Sunday!!!
XOXO
Cathy

Jan said...

Powerful.

CoveredInCrafts said...

Wow that all sounds very familiar. ;) You're an inspiration.