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Friday, March 27, 2009

Seriously, so help us all...


As a girl I used to spend hours in my room writing stories, letters, journal entries, anything with a pen in my hand. It used to bother me how bad my handwriting was and I was determined to not have the crappiest penmanship in class someday. By high school I had compliments on it- seems now like such a silly goal now when I think about it. At the time I guess I felt like I wasn't good at too many things so I started with this piddly lil' achievement.

During this process I made great discoveries with pen in hand. I can remember that those words I would write were something that I had total control of in my out of control teenage life. My own thoughts seemed to make more sense, I could figure out complex problems, and I became a master list maker. I needed those moments of solitude, decompression, & the room to breath.

Sometimes I would read the things I wrote to my mother and she would cry. I don't know if they touched her or if she thought I had enormous teenage issues and was secretly worried. However, she always gave me encouragement and said, keep going, don't stop. You have planted a seed, help it grow. So I then became "puffed up" and a master of word play (aka BS artist- can't think of anther term that fits here, sorry) and could fake my way through reports and term papers of great length with flowery words and minimal effort. How proud she must have been of me and regretful of those encouragements.

I ended up on yearbook committee once in high school. I figured I would try it since I was thinking that love of writing meant journalism. So, of course I hated it. I didn't enjoy factual writing about how the volleyball team did this year or who was prom queen. Give me an adventure and a break from reality PLEASE! I was and still am sappy and over dramatic and found this easier and safer to express on paper and still stay out of any spotlights.

So years have gone by since those days. I have not written in ages and now suddenly I remember! I loved writing, where the heck are those old stories? I want to do more. However, reality screams "Do I suddenly have time now that I didn't have before to ponder things and write?" Absolutely not. I have no idea why this flashback or why that uncared for little seed is stirred up once again. I think it is my need for solitude resurfacing although I cannot imagine my life without all this blessed chaos. Either that or the dramatic teen years my kids are living is striking that same cord in me all over again. Whatever the case may be, my dear blogger friends, so help us all...

4 comments:

Gary D said...

Just go for it! You and Jane must be planted from the same seed. Her months of writing this book about her and her sisters has at times seemed to consume her (leaving me to do more housework and go to bed without her). But, now that she's just about done I can see how it's been very therapeutic! AND, we can dream about her publishing it, going on Oprah and a big movie deal coming our way! We're almost rich already...dream big Cinda, dream big.

Cinda Nethercott aka Mom said...

So that's why Jane and I got along so well! I do not have anywhere near the life story she has tell! I can't wait to read it someday. That might inspire me to do something and stop dreaming.

Jake, Ashlee, and Jaxon Gardner said...

WOW-you are AMAZING Cinda!! When I was little I always wanted to be an author-I loved to just be outside and sit and watch till something came to me to write...it's never too late...you really are SUPER MOM! You are cool, and athletic, and you always do fun activities with your kids...they'll always cherish when they are older-just like the note from Christian....something to show his wife!!! ;) (jake found a note I wrote when I was little...it was to the tooth fairy, asking for her to please leave me $5.00 for one tooth!) WOW I don't think I got that but never under-estimate how smart 5 yr. olds are! I have learned that much for sure in primary!!

Jake, Ashlee, and Jaxon Gardner said...

P.S. that is really a great picture of you!